Whee! Ima Taoist?

Infidelity is an interesting thing. To some people, it's nothing. To others, it's everything. There are cultures in which it is completely unacceptable. And there are cultures in which it is expected. Unfortunately, I think our (American) society is starting to lean towards the latter.

I am not proud of my history in that department. I stood in front of another, and vowed that I would do no such thing. And yet, for a variety of reasons, I did. Each time, it caused damage to everyone involved. And, as selfish as it may seem, I think the person most damaged was myself.

Because, I'm now learning that what has happened in the past can have a very real affect on the present and future. (Yeah, I know, Duh!) But, really, it goes beyond the obvious. My wife once made a blog post which referenced a biting dog. If a dog has a history of biting, it will always have that history. It may be well behaved now, but there's always the danger that it could bite again.

On the flip side is my belief that things can change. Perhaps not so much a dog, but certainly people. Still, despite the fact they may have changed, there is still the past. It can loom over the present like a spectre. It can cause doubts to creep in where there is no reason.

And that's the thing. Despite what atonement one may have made, they still have to account for their past. Worse yet, it can color how they view things. Once a line has been crossed, it's been crossed. Much like an addict, there is always that problem.

Speaking for myself, I know what's on the other side of that line. That knowledge keeps me from ever going back over it. I know all the games, I know all the facades, I know the temptations. I also know it colors how people look at me now. It has diminished me, and it is something I can never recoup.

There are people close to me who are engaging in the same kind of behavior. I know they think it's nothing. Sadly, I have no way to tell them just how heinous it is. That some lines should never be crossed. That, some actions will always come back to haunt you.

It can also change how you view things. Lead you to suspect, and expect, the worst in others. See, if you have been so vile, why isn't the rest of the world. It's then, that it can really eat at you. It destroys trust, which then destroys relationships. Some can recover, most do not.

So, if anyone out there is reading this, and is in a situation where they might be considering such a thing, don't. It's important to remember that it hurts you most of all. You will never regain that stain on your soul. And others, in the future, will be made to deal with it. Sure, they may forgive you. They may understand it. But, they will always have to deal with what you have done. Trust me, it's not worth it.

And that leads to another thought: forgiving and forgetting. It's easy to say you've forgiven a slight. But, often, I think people say they forgive too easily. True, it's important that one learns to forgive. Hate and fear are terrible crosses to bear. They must be let go. But, it's important that one do just that: let go. Not just say the words, but actually let go.

Now, that doesn't mean one should ever forget. When you forget, you set yourself up for the same thing. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So, forgive the slights, but don't forget them.

And yes, I know this whole thing was kinda random, but I thought it would be a good idea to toss them out.

Labels: advice, life, love, thoughts

Posted by Christopher at 19:13 | Permalink | Comments

So, I've gone through a lot of changes the past few years; a few major ones the past year. I've started a new job, finalized a divorce, been married, and a few other things I'm sure I've forgotten. To say the least, it's been an extremely stressful time.

One thing that's carried me through this time is Jess, my wife. I won't bore you with all the juicy details of how we met. What I do want to tell you about is how much her support has meant to me. It's also taught me a lot. Though there is a large gap in our ages, she's managed to take me places I've never been. In short, I've learned more about relationships and individuality in the past year than I have in the past forty.

We joke about it with each other, Jess and I. Joke about how we are partners; about how we mesh so well. How we've managed to go through some interesting things. Each thing has only served to make the relationship stronger. We have several core values which match, and in other areas we are as different as can be. The core values help keep us on track. The differences complement.

The greatest thing I've learned from her (am still learning) is how to communicate. I've spent my life hiding my feelings. Playing with the cards close to my chest. No one, even past loves, were ever allowed into the inner me. They never saw what it was I thought or felt. That's just the way it was.

Another thing I've learned is the importance of individuality. One cannot bring themselves to a relationship, until they're okay with themselves. If you haven't learned who you are, what makes you tick, you really can't be part of a couple. That lesson came from Jess, but it also came before her. I started my divorce, because I had finally reached the point where I needed to be me. If that makes any sense.

But, the thing I really wanted to touch on this time is the importance of team work. See, Jess and I have hit several things were it's taken both of us to get through it. I'm not talking major disasters per se. But, still, situations which would have crushed lesser couples. Now, not all these things were easy to handle. The were handled well though. This is because we've managed to rely on each other.

So, I'm writing this for a couple reasons. One is to underscore the importance of choosing a good life partner. No one is perfect. Everyone has faults. I know I have a boat load of them. But, with the right person on your side, things are much easier to face. My last marriage was the antithesis of this: my partner was never on my side. That places me in a decent position to know what the difference between the two are.

This is at the front of my mind, because Jess and I still face things. We've been talking a lot recently. Really talking. Baring the soul kind of stuff. We had a situation with my daughter that we faced together. I really was prepared to throw up my hands in disgust. I think Jess was too. Had each of us faced the situation alone, I think that's what would have happened. But, we faced it together. That made the difference.

Anyway, that's my point. I've really learned the value of facing things with a real partner. For all you young ones out there, heed this lesson. Listen to all the old farts around you. It's easier to face life with a partner than it is alone.

Labels: advice, book, hint, life, love

Posted by Christopher at 17:05 | Permalink | Comments

So, Jess finally made me watch Brokeback Mountain. Not a bad movie, as movies go, I guess. But, not quite up my ally, either. As well as we mesh, she and I tend to have very different tastes in movies. She likes movies that make one think. I like movies that let me turn on, tune in, and drop out.

Anyway, it's not a bad movie. Certainly not an action flick by any stretch of the imagination. And no, for all you 'phobes out there (who haven't seen it), it's not gay porn. It's worth watching, but it's not at the top of my list. If you haven't seen the movie, much of the rest of this post may not make much sense.

And no, don't think that I'm writing this as a movie review. She asked me what I thought of the movie. As I said. It was decent. But, I had a problem with it. And no, it wasn't the homosexuality.

Here's what bothered me about the movie. For the entire movie, which spanned a greater part of the lives of the men, the two men in question spent the entire time lying to their partners. See, both men took (female) spouses. They raised families. Led what heterosexuals would call normal lives. But they never shared their core being with their partners.

Arguably, the setting of the movie wasn't conducive to such a revelation. The movie was set in a time were homosexuals were not well accepted in society. There were a few scenes in the movie where that was well illustrated: the punishment for homosexuality was death, loss of jobs, etc.

Still, I'm not sure that excuses the lie. Because, that one lie led to more lies. The men would often take 'fishing trips' together. Of course, there was no fishing. The trips were nothing more than excuses for the men to have a weekend of sex with one another. It was also a time for them to keep alive a relationship which they had formed in the beginning of the movie. The entire time, both men never revealed to their spouses what was really happening.

The question is, were they cheating on their wives?

The men weren't seeing other women. But, neither were they remaining true to their spouses nor themselves. One of the men was actively trying to take their relationship to a new level. They were constantly lying to their spouses. If you remove the gender of the characters (men and spouses) from the equation, it's infidelity pure and simple. A is married to B. C is married to D. A and C get together and fuck. B and D don't know, and probably wouldn't approve anyway. Thus, A and C are cheating on their spouses.


And that's the crux. It opens the possibilities for so much to go wrong. The subtle dishonesty that covers up the liaisons can lead to doubts and suspicions which may or may not be well founded. It can eat at the core of an otherwise healthy relationship.

The other thought is, were either of the men really in love with their spouses. If they felt the need to find physical and emotional gratification in the arms of another, were they really in love? Were they ever really committed to their spouses? Exactly how much of the situation was a lie? When you think about it, the lines become real fuzzy, real quick.

In the end, I still can't decide if the men were committing acts of infidelity. They were good husbands. They cared for their wives and children. But, I just can't escape the feeling that, somehow, they were putting lust before love.

Labels: life, love, sex

Posted by Christopher at 16:27 | Permalink | Comments

Have you ever stopped to consider what couples share with one another? What is it that makes a couple a couple, rather than just two good friends? What is it they give to one another, to the relationship, that make it something special?

Trust

Trust is a big one, I think. Really, what's the point of being with someone, if you cannot trust him or her? Trust is the foundation on which the rest of the relationship is built. I remember the old Sunday school parable; how a man with faith has built his house on rock, while a man without has built his house on sand. It's the same thing with relationships, if you don't have the foundation of trust, there isn't much of a foundation?

So, that leads me to wonder, how is trust built? There are people who trust others immediately. There are other people who give out there trust slowly, with caution. But, really, how do you know if that trust is well founded, unless it is put to the test. Or, is trust there if it's never been put to the test? What, then, to do if the trust is violated? What if it's just a perceived violation?

I guess, where I'm going with this part is simply that any (meaningful) relationship must be based on trust. If you can't trust the person you're with, there's something wrong. Your partner must be the one person you know will be open with you. After all, you are facing the world together, it helps to know if they have your back or not.

But, really, trust is shared in many different types of relationships. So, I guess it's not exclusive to a couple. I'm just saying that it really needs to be there, or nothing else can really follow.

Intimacy

I think, the real defining characteristic of a couple is the intimacy. And no, I'm not just speaking of the physical intimacy. I'm more referring to the closeness of the two people.

Who is it you confide in? Who is it you talk to? Who is the one person you know you can expose yourself to without worry? Questions of that reveal the emotional intimacy. Sure, you might share things with your friends. But, really, at the end of the day, it's your partner who really knows you; your desires, fears, comforts.

Who is it you count on? Who will be at your side when the shit hits the fan? Who is it that believes in you, when no one else does? Who would face the world with you? I think this one really shows the trust a lot. It's like combat, I guess. A lot of training for soldiers concentrates on building the trust in the group. You have to know the person to your right isn't going to leave you hanging.

And yes, there is the physical side. Sure, there are people who have open relationships, are attracted to more than one sex, or are just into odd stuff. I guess I can see the point they make; that if you're secure in your relationship, there's no worry about sharing the physical with others.

But, here's the thing. I could keep going on like this. If you take each point on its own, there's not a lot that is exclusive to a couple. Not much the two people can say only belongs to them. Everything else is shared with strangers, acquaintances, etc. So, I guess I'm saying, if you're part of a couple, you need to watch those things closely. If you don't, you cheapen the whole thing. Hell, if you don't, you run the risk of damaging the very foundation upon which the relationship is built: trust.

So, ladies and germs, keep that in mind. Remember to keep what's special in your relationship just that: special.

Labels: life, love

Posted by Christopher at 00:47 | Permalink | Comments

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

That saying irritates me. I think it irritates me, because it's true. But, I don't think people realize how true it is. And yet, at the same time, it's not true. Far from it, in fact.

On Family...

Ok, so you really can't choose your family. They are who they are, and you're stuck with them. Good for you, if you drew a good family. More's the pitty if you didn't.

There's a lot of idioms about this topic. Blood is thicker than water, is a popular one. People are saying that family are the most important. Familial bonds override all others. And yet, you can't choose your family.

So, what constitutes family? It's those people you're related to by birth. It doesn't matter what kind of person they are. So, why is it so important you stick with them. What if they're a bunch of assholes? What if they don't have your best interests at heart? Is it reasonable for you to place them above all others? I'm not so sure.

Now, if we take that blood is thicker than water, isn't it a two-way street? Shouldn't family be there to back you up, no matter the circumstances? If they don't, can they really be considered family? I think the implication is that family should share unconditional love. What, then, if your family places conditions on its love?

On Friends...

Friends are different. Often, one can form closer bonds with friends than with one's own family. Afterall, you have the opportunity to select your friends. You can interview them, spend time with them, see if you like them. If they pass the test, then they can stay. If not, you drop them.

What is a friend anyway? I've always thought that a friend (something more than an acquaintance) is someone you've shared time with. Someone who looks out for your best interests. Someone who sticks with you, even when you're not at your best.

I think, though, it's acceptable for limits to be placed on friendship. It's expected.

Some Thoughts...

Jess and I have been tossing this subject around quite a bit. She and I have different views on what constitutes family and friendship, on how one interracts with them, and on what to do if they're not all they're supposed to be.

Speaking of my family, they're not bad people. They've helped me out quite a bit. I've helped them out. I will forever be greatful for the things they've done, along with the times they've had my back. And yet, I've recently discovered that my family and I have reached the limits of those bonds. Once I took my life in my own hands, I started to see that their dedication had their limits. Their love came with conditions.

Friends are a different topic for me. I have very few friends. I'd like to think it's because I am very selective of my friends. More likely, it's because I'm very abrasive. Either way, there are few people in my life which are considered friends. There have been several which came close, but were discarded for one reason or another.

The Problem...

One problem I've encountered recently is this: what if you can't pick your friends, but you can pick your family? See, that's the situation that arises when you choose to involve yourself in a serious relationship. That other person comes with a collection of friends and with family. Unfortunately for me, I interact with the family better than with the friends. I just can't figure out why.

See, I'm that type of person that can move in all circles. I can speak on almost any level. Relate to almost any clique. Yet, for some reason, I haven't been able to integrate into Jess' clique of friends. Worse yet, there have been several friends which have abadoned her now that she's involved herself in a serious relationship. The same is true on my side. I know my involvement in a relationship has broken certain ties. Ties which, based on the above, should not have been broken.

For my part, I'm a pretty easy going type of person. There's not much which will truly irritate me. But, there are certain boundaries that are important to me. When it comes to my partner, how she's treated, how people treat our relationship, I'm very sensitive. That includes my family and friends. If they can't respect who I am and who I'm with, then are they really friends? If my family can't, are they really family?

Remember that song, When A Man Loves A Woman? In it, there's a line which reads, "He'd turn his back on his best friend, if he put her down." I'm like that. If you can't respect my partner, I have no place in my life for you. I think it's rooted in the fact that if you can't respect her, then you're not respecting me. Hence, you're not respecting my choices.

Sure, friends should be the first ones who are telling you that your'e being stupid. But, in the end, isn't being a friend more important than that? I mean, if you're a friend, isn't it more important you stick with them? Even when you think they're doing something wrong?

The Solution....

I guess I really don't have one to this situation. For me, selecting a partner is that one chance you have to select family. You're essentially declaring that person as family. It's the one chance you have to say this person is blood, and I have made them so. To my friends, you'll either accept it, live with it, or not. But, in the end, if you don't like it, I don't care.

And, if your friends choose not to accept your partner, what does that say about them? Are they really friends? Is it fair for them to treat you in a certain way, because you have made a choice to be happy?

For me, I think the solution lies in defining your boundaries. What is and is not acceptable to you. But, in the end, I just don't understand how someone can call themselves a friend, and not be supportive of live decisions. Worse yet what if it's family who aren't supporting your decisions?

For me, I guess, the solution is simple. I cut those people out of my life. It's too short to deal with people who aren't going to support me. And, I have no problem not having them in my life. So, I know where I'm going, and (roughly) how I'm going to get there.

And that's it in a nutshell. You're either with me, or you're against me. It's as simple as that.

Labels: advice, book, friends, love

Posted by Christopher at 08:39 | Permalink | Comments

So, Jess and I are watching TV the other night. On comes a commercial for some diet program; I think it was Weight Watchers (for men). One of the actors giving a testimonial made the following quote:

My wife says I'm not as disgusting as I used to be.

How frigged up is that? This guy is with a woman who says he's disgusting. Married to her, even.

On Relationships

I'm going to back up a bit, and mention a couple things about relationships. Foremost is my view of what constitutes a healthy relationship has completely changed over the past couple years. I had buried myself in a marriage which was bad. Very bad. But, I thought I was doing the right thing, so I kept it up.

The Ex and I had done some pretty crappy things to each other. Yet, for some reason we remained married. I sometimes think it was because we were content making each other miserable. Sometimes I think we honestly wanted to make it work. Things as the are (were?), it finally became clear to me that it couldn't go on. In essence, I was in a marriage that was burdened with much the same attitude.

I heard a report on the radio, where this guy was talking about relationships. The thing he noted about happy, long-term relationships was the people involved believed they were with their ideal partner. In short attitude played a major role in the longevity and the happiness of the relationship.

On Attitudes

I never really understood the importance of attitudes. Even as many of mine were limiting my success in love, life, etc. A few years ago, I worked for a man in his sixties. He used to speak of attitudes, and how they affected life. It was from him (along with my being a bit older) that I learned how important they can be.

This man used to speak of his grandmother. How she would berate him, or just plain smack him, if he spoke of something poorly. She would say something akin to, "If you say it, you think it. If you think it, you make it so." The point she was trying to teach him was his attitudes were responsible for how things turned out.

Yeah? So?

So, where I'm going with this is kinda simple. How one approaches things is often critical in how they turn out. And, if you're with someone who thinks you're disgusting, it kinda speaks for itself. If they think you are disgusting, how can they think anything good about the relationship? Which means the relationship probably isn't going to work.

At the very least, with life being so short, how can you burden yourself with such a poor thing?

Labels: life, love

Posted by Christopher at 11:03 | Permalink | Comments

So, I had a pretty good weekend. Actually, it was an excellent weekend. But, here's the thing, I really didn't do anything. That is to say, I did, but I didn't. Heh.

See, I spent the entire weekend with Jessica. We didn't do anything special. No fancy date stuff. We just spent time together. I'm not even sure we watched an entire movie. I think, actually, the most we did was sleep. And yes, I mean sleep, for all you dirty-minded types out there. Hell, we didn't roll out of bed until 11:00am on Saturday. And that was only because the phone rang.

Ok, so I'm sure most of you reading this are thinking that sounds lame. And yeah, I guess in a way it does. But, it wasn't. Here's why...

I think one of the things couples often forget to do is what we did: spend time together. Take the time to be together, without the stress of the world. Talk. Cuddle some. Relax. So many people try to make things exciting, and that might even be their thing. But the pace of life is such that, it tends to distract you from some really important things.

Jess and I really have the same thoughts on traditional dating. Take your "typical" date, a dinner and a movie. The dinner part involves something called eating. Now, if you were raised with any kind of manners, that means you're not talking (at least not with your mouth full). So, you're basically (as Jess put it) watching someone shovel food into their mouth. Then there's a movie. Unless you're one of those really annoying types, that's another two-ish hours of not talking. So, you've just burned four-ish hours with someone. If you're lucky, you've managed to get in thirty odd minutes of real talk-time.

That's lame. It's not going to really help you get to know the other person if this is your first date. And it's really something of a show anyway. Who out there really shows their real self on a date? It's more of an interview process. You put on your best face, in hopes of impressing the other person.

Worse is when you're an established couple. Depending on the factors of life, you might not be getting all that much time with the other person. Then, you're going to spend what time you do get not talking. Again, lame.

Don't get me wrong. The dinner-and-a-movie thing can be really cool. A chance to get out and relax. But still, you're not going to be getting much real time with one another.

So, what Jess and I did was spend time together. We talked, played (sorry for the finger, Jess), sniped at one another, cuddled, slept, etc. We went for a walk, sat by the lake and talked. Went back to her place. Talked. Went to her parents. Talked. Get the picture?

We got back on track in many ways. Our relationship is based on friendship. As time goes on, we get distracted by life, and forget to nourish that friendship. When that happens, the relationship suffers. Taking the time as we did this weekend, we really recenter that friendship.

So, I guess what I'm saying with this entire thing is try taking time out for the ones you love. It's so easy to become distracted. So easy to forget to even tell your significant other how you feel. You really want to rekindle the romance? Take the time to be together, just to feed the friendship.

For me, the past weekend was amazing. Not because anything special was done, but because we took the time to be with each other.

Labels: advice, book, friends, life, love, time

Posted by Christopher at 20:21 | Permalink | Comments

There's this girl I know. Most would call her pretty, I think she's beautiful. Some would say she's stubborn, I think she's strong. Some would say she's opinionated, I think she's thoughtful. Really, I could go on like this for hours. She's changed my world, taught me to feel. When we are apart, all I can do is pine for her. When we are together, she is all I can see. Part of me understands why we are not together all the time, but part of me doesn't. I nurse an open wound in my heart, though she doesn't see it. I long for her touch, her smile, the sound of her voice. It hurts so very much, and yet it is so amazingly good. I wish I could tell her how I feel, but I haven't the words. I wish I could change the world, so we could be together. I will talk to her soon, I will see her again. But all that I will know is that we will once again be apart. How can this be? Why is it like this? I once said that I would sell my soul for ten percent. I still would. If it were an option, I'd sign my name in blood. I'd be glad to do it. If it meant we could be together... Together more than a few nights a week... What am I supposed to do?

Labels: journal, love

Posted by Christopher at 20:36 | Permalink | Comments

I like sappy romance-comedies. I'm not sure why. Sure, there's a part of me that is a hopeless romantic. Some part of my id clings to the belief that people can find their partner, true love will conquer all, and everyone can life happily ever after.

Certainly, those movies reinforce that fantasy. Everything seems to happen so easily for the characters. Sure, they have some crisis. It seems to threaten the couple. But, in the end, they find each other, and manage to be together. It's a shame that doesn't happen in real life. Or does it?...

I think people have an innate need to be in a relationship of some kind. In the end, they want to have that partner around to share the life experience. They like the idea that there will be someone there who will share the experience, share the good and bad. They want this so badly, they often settle for something less than love. That's how my Partner phrases it, they settle. I know I did.

My failed attempt at a marriage was just that: settling. In my last post, I pointed out how so many mistake lust for love. In my case, that lust led to a pregnancy. I decided to do the "right thing", and marry the girl. Hindsight has shown me that I had taken lust over love. And yet, even then I think I knew that I was settling. I knew it wasn't love, but I still jumped into the situation. Yes, part of the reason was doing the honorable thing. But, and I think even more, it was an attempt at finding that person who I could share my life with.

I never really took the time to learn who my ex was. She was not a nice person. Don't get me wrong; I was as cruel and vile in the marriage as she. But the fundamental problem with the relationship was it was based on lust. It was never based on anything real.

There's tons of research, scores of sites, and droves of people who devote their time to helping people find that partner, that special someone. So I know people want it. They just don't seem to know how to find it. So, they poke around a bit, find something, and settle for it. They never really consider what it is they really want. They are so consumed with looking, they blind themselves to possibilities.

What do I mean? Well, as I said, I know I was looking for something. Then I mistook lust for love. The rest, as they say, is history. It wasn't until I stopped looking, removed myself from the disaster I was in, that it found me. It? Well, love.

See, I met someone. She's the only (female) person I didn't evaluate as a possible sexual partner. Instead, we started talking about my problems (with my failed relationship). From there, it progressed into talking about her problems. Then it went into talking about anything and everything else. The more we talked, the more we shared. The more we shared, the more we learned what we had in common, what we didn't, and how we complemented one another. In short, we became friends. Best friends.

Now, it's progressed to the point where we are hopelessly in love with one another. It's strange for us, because we don't fit each other's profile. She's artsy, I'm techie. She's trendy, I could care less about fashion. She's this, I'm that. But, in the end, we mesh so well with one another, it's almost scary.

So, how is it we got to this point? Oddly enough, we weren't looking for it. Neither she, nor I, were really interested in having a relationship. Yes, once the interest started, I was interested before she was. But still, it was not something that was even a possibility. So, we had the time to become friends. In the end, it's turned into something so amazing, I can't describe it.

And, I guess that's my point. As a followup to my post about lust and love, is this post. Friendship is a powerful thing. It is possible to find, and fall in love with, your best friend. The trick is, I think, to not really look for it. Make sure you're a complete person, be open to the possibility when it comes along, and the love will find you. Don't limit yourself to preconceived notions. Most importantly, don't settle.

Labels: advice, friends, love

Posted by Christopher at 23:41 | Permalink | Comments

Yay me! I have a blog. Well, I've had the blog for some time, but just haven't bothered to write anything. I guess that's because I'm never quite sure what I should say. I can't really start at the beginning, but I can start with the middle.

I have recently met someone. She's simply the most amazing person I've ever met. She has flaws, as do we all. What's strange is that I've accepted those flaws. In turn, she's accepted mine. It's the first time that I've ever felt truly accepted, and loved, by another person.

But that's not what I'm really writing about for my first blog post (ever). It just leads into the topic: what we're all searching for.

My partner, Jessica, and I talk. Really talk. Like spend hours on the phone talk. Then we spend time together, and talk some more. We founded our love on friendship. What's funny about it all, is we both never really believed in love. Love, as it has been written about so many times, was something that wasn't really real. It was a pipe-dream. A cleverly packaged con, fed to so many by so many (Shakespeare, Walt Disney, et. al.) It was while we were talking that something occurred to me: I've found what I've been searching for.

And here's the kicker: it's wasn't the love. It's the fact that I matter to someone. See, I have kids. I matter to them. I feed them, clothe them, etc. They are dependant upon me to survive. But in the end, it never really made me feel like I mattered. They had no choice; they were stuck with me. With Jess, I feel I matter.

Which brings me to my point, finally I think. One can argue the existence of God (as we know him - what ever that means). It can be argued there is no spiritual, no afterlife, no soul. Whether you believe it or not doesn't matter. Either way you look at it, we're on this planet for a given amount of time. Soon or late, we all come to the end of that time. And, at the end, I think one of the things we'll have to ask ourselves is, did we really matter? Did we really make an impact?

I've saved lives (literally). I'm raising kids (or trying to). But, I think what really matters is that I've truly touched another life. In turn, that life has touched mine. We can spend our time building, we can spend it destroying, or we can squander it away on nothing. I'm thinking the goal is the first. At the end of it all, what we have done has to matter to someone. It has to have counted.

Time is the one commodity that is most precious. Once spent, it can never be regained. So, for once, I'm not wasting my time. I'm just glad that I figured this one out, before I had wasted too much.

Labels: life, love, time

Posted by Christopher at 20:21 | Permalink | Comments