Whee! Ima Taoist?

So, I guess I just don't get it. I mean, I do, but I don't.

When you become involved in a relationship, certain things change. It's no longer just you. Often, it becomes you and me (you and I, whatever). If you're really lucky, it becomes us. That transition causes some changes.

It's a natural progression to transit from single friends to couple friends. Hell, it's a natural part of life to grow away from people. You lose contact with them. You find new people to hang with. Life just is, and changing friends is part of life.

Yet, it amazes me how certain things can rip friends out of your life. I know, when I met my ex, the same thing happened to me. Mind you, she was a vile bitch. That, in itself, drove many of my friends away. The other thing was that I quit partying. There was no longer a common interest to hang with a certain group of people.

But that's different that what I'm talking about here. There are times when one becomes involved in a relationship that one's friends simply abandon one. And I think that's fucked up. I mean, really fucked up.

See, here's the thing. Friends are supposed to be, well, friends. I guess I can understand when it's life that draws you away. You lose touch with someone. Ok. But, when a person in your life walks away, simply because you've chosen to be with someone (or, better yet, found The One), that's fucked up.

Were they ever really friends in the first place?

Jess and I have been touching on this topic for a while now. She's (mostly) moved out of the party life. I've been there. She's suffering the same affects. But, what I find interesting about her situation is the number of friends that have simply stopped talking to her. Stopped talking to her, because she's involved with me. She was a socialite in many ways. Now, I can count on one hand the number of people who still talk to her.

I'm not sure what it is. Jealousy? Perhaps. Really, there's no way to tell.

I just think it's fucked up. But, I guess I just don't understand it.

Labels: friends, rant

Posted by Christopher at 12:22 | Permalink | Comments

Time is a funny thing. It can work for you, or it can work against you. Which way it goes, depends on how you handle it. Or, more accurately, when and how you spend it. If you squander it, you'll soon discover that it works against you.

I've read the Rich Dad books, written by Kiyosaki. First, I'd recommend them to just about anyone. Some 20% of the books are advertisements for his products. But, there is a lot of good stuff in them. At the very least, reading even the first, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, will give you new ways of looking at things.

In his book, Kiyosaki raises a very interesting question: "What is the most valuable resource (commodity) in existence?" The answer to that question is simple: time. Time is the one thing, once spent, can never be regained. When it's gone, it's gone.

The point Kiyosaki makes is, if you waste time, you're screwed. This is especially important with finances. If you don't pay when you're young, you'll pay when you're old.

Sooner or later, you do your time. When you do it, is up to you.

I have the pleasure of being the father of a 15yo girl. She's a pretty decent kid, with a decent head on her shoulders. The trouble is, she's discovered boys. Not, necessarily a bad thing, but she's now putting them ahead of everything else.

Some two weeks ago, she fought with Jess and myself about taking the NYS Regents exam for her grade. She whined and cried that she couldn't do it. First, I have to say something my ex used to say, "Can't means you won't. Won't means you're lazy." My daughter likes to do that a lot though, shed crocodile tears over something, so she doesn't have to do it.

Now, she has the chance to go camping with family members, and go to Washington, D.C. She's eking out of it, because (I think) it will mean a week apart from her current beau. (She's had four or five in the past two months.)

Ok, so I get it. I hate to be apart from Jess. Jess and I are one of those couples. You know the ones; they're together all the time. Joined at the hip. I always thought those couples were pathetic. But, really, my daughter is a bit young to even know what love is, let alone to have found it.

So, back on topic. To snake out of the family trip (which I think would be a good thing), she's citing the Regents exam which will be on the 16th. Now, mind you, she's not studied for this test. Instead, she's spent all her time with the beau d'jour.

Two weeks ago, she fought tooth and nail that she couldn't pass. Now she doesn't want to. Only now, she wants to use it as an excuse. During that fight, I finally got tired of it. I told her it was completely up to her. She's 15. In a few short years, she'll be out in the world. The decisions she's making now will affect her for the rest of her life. She's the one that will have to live with the consequences.

And that's where I'm going with this. She's at the point where she has a choice. She can do her time now. Get it over with. Work now. Or, she can goof off now. Be part of the cool crowd, or whatever. Then, twenty years from now, she can be scraping just to get by.

This is personal experience for me. I'm pushing 40. I'm now in a career I could have easily started some 15 years ago. In five years, the Good Lord willing, I'll be making six figures. I'll have changed my entire financial position. The problem is, I starved the last 15 years. I could have been doing this then. Which means, I'd be fucking retired by now.

Mind you, I'm happy with where I'm now. I just wish I could have gotten here much sooner.

So, that's what I'm saying here. Soon or late, you'll do your time. Do it now, before it's too late.

Labels: advice, book, life, time

Posted by Christopher at 11:41 | Permalink | Comments