Being A Nice Guy
I like to think of myself as a 'nice guy'. As a general rule, I try to follow the Golden Rule. (About doing to others; not the other one.) Yet, I wasn't always a nice guy. I was as much a snake as anyone can be. I did shitty stuff to people, things, and myself. Hell, I still continue to make mistakes. Still, all in all, I do tend to land on the side of being nice most of the time.
Since I really started trying to be nice, I've noticed something. Nice guys finish last. And yeah, I know, that's a very common cliché. But, it's also a very true one. A few days ago I made a comment to someone I know: Nice guys should just carry a jar of Vaseline around with them; that way they will always have lube on hand when they get fucked in the ass.
The wife, daughter, daughter's boyfriend, and I went out to dinner last night. It was a birthday thing. Not anything grand, rather something simple to commemorate the occasion. It was a pretty nice time, until it came time to pay the bill. The restaurant fucked up my card, forcing me to stand there looking like an idiot for ten or fifteen minutes. When it happened, I could have just signed the slip and walked out (saving myself some $40). But, instead, I chose to do the right thing. That's when the disaster hit, and they locked up my credit card.
After all was said and done, I got a "We're very sorry" and nothing else. And I honestly couldn't say anything. There were a lot of things that came to mind, however none of them were appropriate for a public setting. So, I did the right thing. I was the nice guy. I smiled, took it in the ass, and left. Partly because I was really trying to "rise above," but also because I knew if I started the cops would have been there.
One of the comments made during the evening was, "I wish so-and-so were here." Mostly because that person would probably have said the things that were going through my mind. Actually, no, he'd have been more polite than I could have been. But, that really sums up what being a nice guy is like.
I remember hearing a comedienne who had a routine which mentioned that women will tell you they want a nice, sensitive guy. But, when they get that, all they can really think is, "Heeeere pussy, pussy, pussy." And that's really starting to make sense to me.
So, what's my point? Good you asked. Here's the advantage of being a nice guy: at the end of the day, you know you probably made someone's life better. At least, you probably haven't made someone's day worse.
But, with that, is a whole bevy of things one has to choke down. I cannot count the number of times I have been publically and privately insulted, degraded, humiliated, etc. Virtually every time, I've done the right thing. Smiled and nodded. When someone does or says something, I shrug it off. I’m gracious. The problem is it just reinforces the behavior. I think it's because people have a natural tendency to take advantage of other people. We're all greedy. We all want mine. And, as long as we're getting mine, we're happy.
The problem I'm having with all this is being a nice guy is going to kill me. Stress really is the confusion caused when the mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some asshole who desperately deserves it. And boy, do I have stress.
The problem is, if I'm not nice, then I’m not setting an example for everyone I encounter. Children, strangers, everyone. There's no chance to pass something along. A smile, a good feeling. Something small which might help someone else when they might really need it.
But, here's the thing. I used to be a medic. I've saved a lot of lives in my time. I've helped a lot of people when they were at their worst. Even then, there were a lot of times where I was screwed by the very people I was helping. So, eventually, I stopped doing medical stuff. I'd had my fill of helping people, of being nice to people, who were not about to show one ounce of appreciation. Or worse, were going to turn around and screw me anyway. And, as much as I enjoyed it, I will never go back to it.
See, I'm extremely loyal, kind, and considerate. Even when I know it would be much easier to just be an ass. But, when that level of commitment isn't returned, I get very bitter. I think that's why I have no desire to practice medicine anymore. I'm bitter. And yes, I know I shouldn't be.
So, I guess, now that I've ranted, I'll sum this up. I know I'm a better person for being nice. It would be so easy at times to put the idiots of the world back into their place. To not turn the other cheek. To strike back when struck. Even when a part of me would truly enjoy to inflict a bit of pain. But I don't. I continue to be nice. Because, whether or not there is a God or gods. Whether we're just worm food in the end. Perhaps the kindness I show will rub off and be passed on. It's one of the few lessons I learned from my father. It took a very long time to learn it. And, now the actions and kindnesses he did to me are being passed on. So, I know it has an affect.
Just remember one thing: every time you take advantage of a nice guy, every time you cut them down, you diminish yourself. And you may find that they stop being nice. I could still be saving lives. I’m not. So, somewhere out there are people who have lost someone, because I am no longer saving lives. That's not egotistical, that's fact (yet another long story). Because, in the end, it takes a lot more energy to be nice than not-so-nice.
Oh, and one more thing. For all you people out there who have been taking advantage of nice guys: FUCK YOU. (Now, if I can just find my baseball bat…)
Since I really started trying to be nice, I've noticed something. Nice guys finish last. And yeah, I know, that's a very common cliché. But, it's also a very true one. A few days ago I made a comment to someone I know: Nice guys should just carry a jar of Vaseline around with them; that way they will always have lube on hand when they get fucked in the ass.
The wife, daughter, daughter's boyfriend, and I went out to dinner last night. It was a birthday thing. Not anything grand, rather something simple to commemorate the occasion. It was a pretty nice time, until it came time to pay the bill. The restaurant fucked up my card, forcing me to stand there looking like an idiot for ten or fifteen minutes. When it happened, I could have just signed the slip and walked out (saving myself some $40). But, instead, I chose to do the right thing. That's when the disaster hit, and they locked up my credit card.
After all was said and done, I got a "We're very sorry" and nothing else. And I honestly couldn't say anything. There were a lot of things that came to mind, however none of them were appropriate for a public setting. So, I did the right thing. I was the nice guy. I smiled, took it in the ass, and left. Partly because I was really trying to "rise above," but also because I knew if I started the cops would have been there.
One of the comments made during the evening was, "I wish so-and-so were here." Mostly because that person would probably have said the things that were going through my mind. Actually, no, he'd have been more polite than I could have been. But, that really sums up what being a nice guy is like.
I remember hearing a comedienne who had a routine which mentioned that women will tell you they want a nice, sensitive guy. But, when they get that, all they can really think is, "Heeeere pussy, pussy, pussy." And that's really starting to make sense to me.
So, what's my point? Good you asked. Here's the advantage of being a nice guy: at the end of the day, you know you probably made someone's life better. At least, you probably haven't made someone's day worse.
But, with that, is a whole bevy of things one has to choke down. I cannot count the number of times I have been publically and privately insulted, degraded, humiliated, etc. Virtually every time, I've done the right thing. Smiled and nodded. When someone does or says something, I shrug it off. I’m gracious. The problem is it just reinforces the behavior. I think it's because people have a natural tendency to take advantage of other people. We're all greedy. We all want mine. And, as long as we're getting mine, we're happy.
The problem I'm having with all this is being a nice guy is going to kill me. Stress really is the confusion caused when the mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some asshole who desperately deserves it. And boy, do I have stress.
The problem is, if I'm not nice, then I’m not setting an example for everyone I encounter. Children, strangers, everyone. There's no chance to pass something along. A smile, a good feeling. Something small which might help someone else when they might really need it.
But, here's the thing. I used to be a medic. I've saved a lot of lives in my time. I've helped a lot of people when they were at their worst. Even then, there were a lot of times where I was screwed by the very people I was helping. So, eventually, I stopped doing medical stuff. I'd had my fill of helping people, of being nice to people, who were not about to show one ounce of appreciation. Or worse, were going to turn around and screw me anyway. And, as much as I enjoyed it, I will never go back to it.
See, I'm extremely loyal, kind, and considerate. Even when I know it would be much easier to just be an ass. But, when that level of commitment isn't returned, I get very bitter. I think that's why I have no desire to practice medicine anymore. I'm bitter. And yes, I know I shouldn't be.
So, I guess, now that I've ranted, I'll sum this up. I know I'm a better person for being nice. It would be so easy at times to put the idiots of the world back into their place. To not turn the other cheek. To strike back when struck. Even when a part of me would truly enjoy to inflict a bit of pain. But I don't. I continue to be nice. Because, whether or not there is a God or gods. Whether we're just worm food in the end. Perhaps the kindness I show will rub off and be passed on. It's one of the few lessons I learned from my father. It took a very long time to learn it. And, now the actions and kindnesses he did to me are being passed on. So, I know it has an affect.
Just remember one thing: every time you take advantage of a nice guy, every time you cut them down, you diminish yourself. And you may find that they stop being nice. I could still be saving lives. I’m not. So, somewhere out there are people who have lost someone, because I am no longer saving lives. That's not egotistical, that's fact (yet another long story). Because, in the end, it takes a lot more energy to be nice than not-so-nice.
Oh, and one more thing. For all you people out there who have been taking advantage of nice guys: FUCK YOU. (Now, if I can just find my baseball bat…)
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