More Progress...
I've always held people to double standards: there was one set of rules for me, and another for everyone else. What was OK for me, was not always OK for them. I'd advise people on the correct course of action, yet do exactly the opposite. There's a word for that. It's called hypocrisy. The age old phrase of, "Do as I say, not as I do."
A few years ago, I decided to try to be a little different. I would start following my own advice. I'd clean up my act, so to speak. That change did not come without a catalyst. In my case, it was the death of my father. Sure, it took a few years, but I managed to change myself. My father's death wasn't the only thing that happened to me. But, it really was the start of things.
The funny thing is, prior to this, hypocrisy always pissed me off. It still does. Though, now I'm able to handle it better. I recognize how often it happens, and often the reasons why it happens. But, it still irks me.
I've been learning some important lessons as of late. Many with the help of my partner and wife, Jessica. She's done a lot to help me realign my thinking and my actions. I will forever how she's opened my eyes. The learning process is far from complete, but at least it's a process. It comes back to something I mentioned in a previous post: it's not about perfection, it's about progress. (The catch phrase of AA.)
Another thing that has brought this to mind is my daughter. I see in her much of what was in my when I was young. I've turned into my father (parents?), in that I am now saying many of the things they said. Much to the same affect.
But, here's the thing. What happens when you're trying to overcome the hypocrisy of a lifetime? How tolerant of it should you be? I'm dealing with this one a lot lately. And, I think it comes back to what I just said (and what I've said before): It's about progress. Still, I've learned it's important to practice what one preaches. I see that now, by my relationships in my life. Most especially by the choices my daughter is making, and through my relationship with Jessica.
What's the point to all this? Just to say that it's best to lead by example. The more one is a hypocrite, the less (positive) affect one has on others. It's been a real challenge for me, to act more in line with what I say. I'm too easy going, I don't communicate well enough, I don't let people into my life, I don't focus enough on the future. It's changing, but slowly.
In the end, it comes down to that. Am I making progress? I think everyone should ask themselves that. I also think they should ask themselves if they are leading by example. After all, if they're not, they're just adding to the hypocrisy which pervades every day life.
A few years ago, I decided to try to be a little different. I would start following my own advice. I'd clean up my act, so to speak. That change did not come without a catalyst. In my case, it was the death of my father. Sure, it took a few years, but I managed to change myself. My father's death wasn't the only thing that happened to me. But, it really was the start of things.
The funny thing is, prior to this, hypocrisy always pissed me off. It still does. Though, now I'm able to handle it better. I recognize how often it happens, and often the reasons why it happens. But, it still irks me.
I've been learning some important lessons as of late. Many with the help of my partner and wife, Jessica. She's done a lot to help me realign my thinking and my actions. I will forever how she's opened my eyes. The learning process is far from complete, but at least it's a process. It comes back to something I mentioned in a previous post: it's not about perfection, it's about progress. (The catch phrase of AA.)
Another thing that has brought this to mind is my daughter. I see in her much of what was in my when I was young. I've turned into my father (parents?), in that I am now saying many of the things they said. Much to the same affect.
But, here's the thing. What happens when you're trying to overcome the hypocrisy of a lifetime? How tolerant of it should you be? I'm dealing with this one a lot lately. And, I think it comes back to what I just said (and what I've said before): It's about progress. Still, I've learned it's important to practice what one preaches. I see that now, by my relationships in my life. Most especially by the choices my daughter is making, and through my relationship with Jessica.
What's the point to all this? Just to say that it's best to lead by example. The more one is a hypocrite, the less (positive) affect one has on others. It's been a real challenge for me, to act more in line with what I say. I'm too easy going, I don't communicate well enough, I don't let people into my life, I don't focus enough on the future. It's changing, but slowly.
In the end, it comes down to that. Am I making progress? I think everyone should ask themselves that. I also think they should ask themselves if they are leading by example. After all, if they're not, they're just adding to the hypocrisy which pervades every day life.
