Trust
One thing that's been rolling around in my head a lot lately is trust: how precious it is, how difficult it is to earn, and how easily it is lost. I've read a lot of articles on trust. What it is, how it's built, how it's lost, and how it's rebuilt. And the related articles, especially how important it is in lasting relationships.
I worked for a man who was fond of saying, "Inspect what you expect." He stole the phrase from a general or president (and yes, that means I'm too lazy to look it up right now). I've come to use the phrase from time to time as well. The problem is, when you inspect something, is that itself an admission that there is no trust?
The answer to that question is, "It depends."
See, I think it's quite possible to assume facts in evidence which aren't. So, if you don't pursue a topic, then you can't reassure yourself that you're making invalid assumptions. If you stop checking from time to time, you simply don't know. And that can lead to very bad things. To paraphrase, the only thing to really fear is fear itself. And sometimes, you need reassurances to know that it's just fear, nothing more.
But, the problem is, what if you do inspect and find that there is something to fear? What if there is basis for the fear? How does one admit that? And, in admitting that, is that a violation of the trust?
That's the crux. As long as you don't inspect, you're left with the fear. You can say to yourself that it's just fear and nothing else. A favorite phrase of mine touches on that: ignorance is bliss. Sometimes you're just better off not knowing. Plausible deniability: if you don't know about it, you can't be held responsible for it.
Relationships are all built on trust. It doesn't matter if it's a personal relationship or a business partnership. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive. It becomes vital then, if you want a relationship, to actively work on building the trust. That means, at times, inspecting what you expect. Asking the hard questions. Travelling into the dark areas, to shed some light on them.
So, sometimes I think it's not a matter of whether you trust or not. It's just a matter of needing some reassurance. But still the fear lingers...
I worked for a man who was fond of saying, "Inspect what you expect." He stole the phrase from a general or president (and yes, that means I'm too lazy to look it up right now). I've come to use the phrase from time to time as well. The problem is, when you inspect something, is that itself an admission that there is no trust?
The answer to that question is, "It depends."
See, I think it's quite possible to assume facts in evidence which aren't. So, if you don't pursue a topic, then you can't reassure yourself that you're making invalid assumptions. If you stop checking from time to time, you simply don't know. And that can lead to very bad things. To paraphrase, the only thing to really fear is fear itself. And sometimes, you need reassurances to know that it's just fear, nothing more.
But, the problem is, what if you do inspect and find that there is something to fear? What if there is basis for the fear? How does one admit that? And, in admitting that, is that a violation of the trust?
That's the crux. As long as you don't inspect, you're left with the fear. You can say to yourself that it's just fear and nothing else. A favorite phrase of mine touches on that: ignorance is bliss. Sometimes you're just better off not knowing. Plausible deniability: if you don't know about it, you can't be held responsible for it.
Relationships are all built on trust. It doesn't matter if it's a personal relationship or a business partnership. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive. It becomes vital then, if you want a relationship, to actively work on building the trust. That means, at times, inspecting what you expect. Asking the hard questions. Travelling into the dark areas, to shed some light on them.
So, sometimes I think it's not a matter of whether you trust or not. It's just a matter of needing some reassurance. But still the fear lingers...
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