Relationships
Have you ever stopped to consider what couples share with one another? What is it that makes a couple a couple, rather than just two good friends? What is it they give to one another, to the relationship, that make it something special?
Trust
Trust is a big one, I think. Really, what's the point of being with someone, if you cannot trust him or her? Trust is the foundation on which the rest of the relationship is built. I remember the old Sunday school parable; how a man with faith has built his house on rock, while a man without has built his house on sand. It's the same thing with relationships, if you don't have the foundation of trust, there isn't much of a foundation?
So, that leads me to wonder, how is trust built? There are people who trust others immediately. There are other people who give out there trust slowly, with caution. But, really, how do you know if that trust is well founded, unless it is put to the test. Or, is trust there if it's never been put to the test? What, then, to do if the trust is violated? What if it's just a perceived violation?
I guess, where I'm going with this part is simply that any (meaningful) relationship must be based on trust. If you can't trust the person you're with, there's something wrong. Your partner must be the one person you know will be open with you. After all, you are facing the world together, it helps to know if they have your back or not.
But, really, trust is shared in many different types of relationships. So, I guess it's not exclusive to a couple. I'm just saying that it really needs to be there, or nothing else can really follow.
Intimacy
I think, the real defining characteristic of a couple is the intimacy. And no, I'm not just speaking of the physical intimacy. I'm more referring to the closeness of the two people.
Who is it you confide in? Who is it you talk to? Who is the one person you know you can expose yourself to without worry? Questions of that reveal the emotional intimacy. Sure, you might share things with your friends. But, really, at the end of the day, it's your partner who really knows you; your desires, fears, comforts.
Who is it you count on? Who will be at your side when the shit hits the fan? Who is it that believes in you, when no one else does? Who would face the world with you? I think this one really shows the trust a lot. It's like combat, I guess. A lot of training for soldiers concentrates on building the trust in the group. You have to know the person to your right isn't going to leave you hanging.
And yes, there is the physical side. Sure, there are people who have open relationships, are attracted to more than one sex, or are just into odd stuff. I guess I can see the point they make; that if you're secure in your relationship, there's no worry about sharing the physical with others.
But, here's the thing. I could keep going on like this. If you take each point on its own, there's not a lot that is exclusive to a couple. Not much the two people can say only belongs to them. Everything else is shared with strangers, acquaintances, etc. So, I guess I'm saying, if you're part of a couple, you need to watch those things closely. If you don't, you cheapen the whole thing. Hell, if you don't, you run the risk of damaging the very foundation upon which the relationship is built: trust.
So, ladies and germs, keep that in mind. Remember to keep what's special in your relationship just that: special.
Trust
Trust is a big one, I think. Really, what's the point of being with someone, if you cannot trust him or her? Trust is the foundation on which the rest of the relationship is built. I remember the old Sunday school parable; how a man with faith has built his house on rock, while a man without has built his house on sand. It's the same thing with relationships, if you don't have the foundation of trust, there isn't much of a foundation?
So, that leads me to wonder, how is trust built? There are people who trust others immediately. There are other people who give out there trust slowly, with caution. But, really, how do you know if that trust is well founded, unless it is put to the test. Or, is trust there if it's never been put to the test? What, then, to do if the trust is violated? What if it's just a perceived violation?
I guess, where I'm going with this part is simply that any (meaningful) relationship must be based on trust. If you can't trust the person you're with, there's something wrong. Your partner must be the one person you know will be open with you. After all, you are facing the world together, it helps to know if they have your back or not.
But, really, trust is shared in many different types of relationships. So, I guess it's not exclusive to a couple. I'm just saying that it really needs to be there, or nothing else can really follow.
Intimacy
I think, the real defining characteristic of a couple is the intimacy. And no, I'm not just speaking of the physical intimacy. I'm more referring to the closeness of the two people.
Who is it you confide in? Who is it you talk to? Who is the one person you know you can expose yourself to without worry? Questions of that reveal the emotional intimacy. Sure, you might share things with your friends. But, really, at the end of the day, it's your partner who really knows you; your desires, fears, comforts.
Who is it you count on? Who will be at your side when the shit hits the fan? Who is it that believes in you, when no one else does? Who would face the world with you? I think this one really shows the trust a lot. It's like combat, I guess. A lot of training for soldiers concentrates on building the trust in the group. You have to know the person to your right isn't going to leave you hanging.
And yes, there is the physical side. Sure, there are people who have open relationships, are attracted to more than one sex, or are just into odd stuff. I guess I can see the point they make; that if you're secure in your relationship, there's no worry about sharing the physical with others.
But, here's the thing. I could keep going on like this. If you take each point on its own, there's not a lot that is exclusive to a couple. Not much the two people can say only belongs to them. Everything else is shared with strangers, acquaintances, etc. So, I guess I'm saying, if you're part of a couple, you need to watch those things closely. If you don't, you cheapen the whole thing. Hell, if you don't, you run the risk of damaging the very foundation upon which the relationship is built: trust.
So, ladies and germs, keep that in mind. Remember to keep what's special in your relationship just that: special.
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