Differences
So, it's been a while since I posted. Jess is away for the night, Amanda is out with her beau, I'm home alone. That means I've got time on my hands, and have to find something to keep occupied, so I don't go insane. In other words, I'm going to write a post or two. Just to keep busy. I'm not even sure the point of them.
First, and update on my life. The paperwork for the divorce has finally been completed. The goal is in sight, and it's (literally) a matter of days until it's done. Yay! I really, really can't wait for the day I get the notice. That will likely be one of the best days of my life.
Divorce is funny, I guess. I remember when I entered into the marriage. My parents always used to preach about how marriage was forever. Divorce wasn't an option. So, you'd best damn well choose wisely. I didn't, of course, and I've suffered the consequences. It (divorce) really should be a sad affair. It's never a good thing when a couple falls apart, especially when they are married. And, really, until I initiated mine, I was against them. That's changed oh so much now.
See, I finally realized that I am important. That my hopes, dreams, desires, needs, etc. are important. It's not a crime to pursue them. It's not a crime to insist they are met. Sure, if you take it too far, it's a Bad Thing. But, ultimately, you have to look out for number one. If you don't, how can you look out for anyone else?
So, my divorce was as much a quest to find myself, to complete myself, as it was anything else. I had finally become weary of being treated like garbage. It finally occurred to me that I deserved better. Did these realizations come too late? Sure. But, at least they came.
In other words, divorce isn't always as bad as people think it is. I think that a lot of them occur, because people don't really think about commitment. They enter a union with rose colored glasses. Ultimately though, it's important to recognize that staying in a bad relationship (married or not) is a Bad Thing. It does more damage than good.
To illustrate that, I submit my current relationship. Jess and I each have our issues. There's no doubt about that. We each carry baggage that will affect our relationship for the rest of our lives. But, there's a dramatic difference in how we treat one another, and how we treat our relationship. We each get as much out of the relationship as we put in. More importantly, we put in what we want. That, really, is what our relationship is about: want. We both want it. It's good for us. We're not in it out of obligation.
So, I guess where I'm going with this is that I'm glad I took the steps I did. I'm in a much better place now as compared to the past. I feel better mentally and physically. That, in turn, has enabled me to involve myself in a healthy relationship. Which, makes me feel better... Hmm, seems like a pattern there or something.
In other words, don't stick to something bad, because you feel you must. In the end, it will just destroy you. There are healthy things out there. When you find them, the difference is completely amazing.
First, and update on my life. The paperwork for the divorce has finally been completed. The goal is in sight, and it's (literally) a matter of days until it's done. Yay! I really, really can't wait for the day I get the notice. That will likely be one of the best days of my life.
Divorce is funny, I guess. I remember when I entered into the marriage. My parents always used to preach about how marriage was forever. Divorce wasn't an option. So, you'd best damn well choose wisely. I didn't, of course, and I've suffered the consequences. It (divorce) really should be a sad affair. It's never a good thing when a couple falls apart, especially when they are married. And, really, until I initiated mine, I was against them. That's changed oh so much now.
See, I finally realized that I am important. That my hopes, dreams, desires, needs, etc. are important. It's not a crime to pursue them. It's not a crime to insist they are met. Sure, if you take it too far, it's a Bad Thing. But, ultimately, you have to look out for number one. If you don't, how can you look out for anyone else?
So, my divorce was as much a quest to find myself, to complete myself, as it was anything else. I had finally become weary of being treated like garbage. It finally occurred to me that I deserved better. Did these realizations come too late? Sure. But, at least they came.
In other words, divorce isn't always as bad as people think it is. I think that a lot of them occur, because people don't really think about commitment. They enter a union with rose colored glasses. Ultimately though, it's important to recognize that staying in a bad relationship (married or not) is a Bad Thing. It does more damage than good.
To illustrate that, I submit my current relationship. Jess and I each have our issues. There's no doubt about that. We each carry baggage that will affect our relationship for the rest of our lives. But, there's a dramatic difference in how we treat one another, and how we treat our relationship. We each get as much out of the relationship as we put in. More importantly, we put in what we want. That, really, is what our relationship is about: want. We both want it. It's good for us. We're not in it out of obligation.
So, I guess where I'm going with this is that I'm glad I took the steps I did. I'm in a much better place now as compared to the past. I feel better mentally and physically. That, in turn, has enabled me to involve myself in a healthy relationship. Which, makes me feel better... Hmm, seems like a pattern there or something.
In other words, don't stick to something bad, because you feel you must. In the end, it will just destroy you. There are healthy things out there. When you find them, the difference is completely amazing.
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