Taking Time
So, I had a pretty good weekend. Actually, it was an excellent weekend. But, here's the thing, I really didn't do anything. That is to say, I did, but I didn't. Heh.
See, I spent the entire weekend with Jessica. We didn't do anything special. No fancy date stuff. We just spent time together. I'm not even sure we watched an entire movie. I think, actually, the most we did was sleep. And yes, I mean sleep, for all you dirty-minded types out there. Hell, we didn't roll out of bed until 11:00am on Saturday. And that was only because the phone rang.
Ok, so I'm sure most of you reading this are thinking that sounds lame. And yeah, I guess in a way it does. But, it wasn't. Here's why...
I think one of the things couples often forget to do is what we did: spend time together. Take the time to be together, without the stress of the world. Talk. Cuddle some. Relax. So many people try to make things exciting, and that might even be their thing. But the pace of life is such that, it tends to distract you from some really important things.
Jess and I really have the same thoughts on traditional dating. Take your "typical" date, a dinner and a movie. The dinner part involves something called eating. Now, if you were raised with any kind of manners, that means you're not talking (at least not with your mouth full). So, you're basically (as Jess put it) watching someone shovel food into their mouth. Then there's a movie. Unless you're one of those really annoying types, that's another two-ish hours of not talking. So, you've just burned four-ish hours with someone. If you're lucky, you've managed to get in thirty odd minutes of real talk-time.
That's lame. It's not going to really help you get to know the other person if this is your first date. And it's really something of a show anyway. Who out there really shows their real self on a date? It's more of an interview process. You put on your best face, in hopes of impressing the other person.
Worse is when you're an established couple. Depending on the factors of life, you might not be getting all that much time with the other person. Then, you're going to spend what time you do get not talking. Again, lame.
Don't get me wrong. The dinner-and-a-movie thing can be really cool. A chance to get out and relax. But still, you're not going to be getting much real time with one another.
So, what Jess and I did was spend time together. We talked, played (sorry for the finger, Jess), sniped at one another, cuddled, slept, etc. We went for a walk, sat by the lake and talked. Went back to her place. Talked. Went to her parents. Talked. Get the picture?
We got back on track in many ways. Our relationship is based on friendship. As time goes on, we get distracted by life, and forget to nourish that friendship. When that happens, the relationship suffers. Taking the time as we did this weekend, we really recenter that friendship.
So, I guess what I'm saying with this entire thing is try taking time out for the ones you love. It's so easy to become distracted. So easy to forget to even tell your significant other how you feel. You really want to rekindle the romance? Take the time to be together, just to feed the friendship.
For me, the past weekend was amazing. Not because anything special was done, but because we took the time to be with each other.
See, I spent the entire weekend with Jessica. We didn't do anything special. No fancy date stuff. We just spent time together. I'm not even sure we watched an entire movie. I think, actually, the most we did was sleep. And yes, I mean sleep, for all you dirty-minded types out there. Hell, we didn't roll out of bed until 11:00am on Saturday. And that was only because the phone rang.
Ok, so I'm sure most of you reading this are thinking that sounds lame. And yeah, I guess in a way it does. But, it wasn't. Here's why...
I think one of the things couples often forget to do is what we did: spend time together. Take the time to be together, without the stress of the world. Talk. Cuddle some. Relax. So many people try to make things exciting, and that might even be their thing. But the pace of life is such that, it tends to distract you from some really important things.
Jess and I really have the same thoughts on traditional dating. Take your "typical" date, a dinner and a movie. The dinner part involves something called eating. Now, if you were raised with any kind of manners, that means you're not talking (at least not with your mouth full). So, you're basically (as Jess put it) watching someone shovel food into their mouth. Then there's a movie. Unless you're one of those really annoying types, that's another two-ish hours of not talking. So, you've just burned four-ish hours with someone. If you're lucky, you've managed to get in thirty odd minutes of real talk-time.
That's lame. It's not going to really help you get to know the other person if this is your first date. And it's really something of a show anyway. Who out there really shows their real self on a date? It's more of an interview process. You put on your best face, in hopes of impressing the other person.
Worse is when you're an established couple. Depending on the factors of life, you might not be getting all that much time with the other person. Then, you're going to spend what time you do get not talking. Again, lame.
Don't get me wrong. The dinner-and-a-movie thing can be really cool. A chance to get out and relax. But still, you're not going to be getting much real time with one another.
So, what Jess and I did was spend time together. We talked, played (sorry for the finger, Jess), sniped at one another, cuddled, slept, etc. We went for a walk, sat by the lake and talked. Went back to her place. Talked. Went to her parents. Talked. Get the picture?
We got back on track in many ways. Our relationship is based on friendship. As time goes on, we get distracted by life, and forget to nourish that friendship. When that happens, the relationship suffers. Taking the time as we did this weekend, we really recenter that friendship.
So, I guess what I'm saying with this entire thing is try taking time out for the ones you love. It's so easy to become distracted. So easy to forget to even tell your significant other how you feel. You really want to rekindle the romance? Take the time to be together, just to feed the friendship.
For me, the past weekend was amazing. Not because anything special was done, but because we took the time to be with each other.
The weekend was amazing. The time spent was wonderful, and even better yet... we reconnected yet again.
Posted by
J.L. |
April 30, 2007 at 1:01 AM