Partners...
So, I've gone through a lot of changes the past few years; a few major ones the past year. I've started a new job, finalized a divorce, been married, and a few other things I'm sure I've forgotten. To say the least, it's been an extremely stressful time.
One thing that's carried me through this time is Jess, my wife. I won't bore you with all the juicy details of how we met. What I do want to tell you about is how much her support has meant to me. It's also taught me a lot. Though there is a large gap in our ages, she's managed to take me places I've never been. In short, I've learned more about relationships and individuality in the past year than I have in the past forty.
We joke about it with each other, Jess and I. Joke about how we are partners; about how we mesh so well. How we've managed to go through some interesting things. Each thing has only served to make the relationship stronger. We have several core values which match, and in other areas we are as different as can be. The core values help keep us on track. The differences complement.
The greatest thing I've learned from her (am still learning) is how to communicate. I've spent my life hiding my feelings. Playing with the cards close to my chest. No one, even past loves, were ever allowed into the inner me. They never saw what it was I thought or felt. That's just the way it was.
Another thing I've learned is the importance of individuality. One cannot bring themselves to a relationship, until they're okay with themselves. If you haven't learned who you are, what makes you tick, you really can't be part of a couple. That lesson came from Jess, but it also came before her. I started my divorce, because I had finally reached the point where I needed to be me. If that makes any sense.
But, the thing I really wanted to touch on this time is the importance of team work. See, Jess and I have hit several things were it's taken both of us to get through it. I'm not talking major disasters per se. But, still, situations which would have crushed lesser couples. Now, not all these things were easy to handle. The were handled well though. This is because we've managed to rely on each other.
So, I'm writing this for a couple reasons. One is to underscore the importance of choosing a good life partner. No one is perfect. Everyone has faults. I know I have a boat load of them. But, with the right person on your side, things are much easier to face. My last marriage was the antithesis of this: my partner was never on my side. That places me in a decent position to know what the difference between the two are.
This is at the front of my mind, because Jess and I still face things. We've been talking a lot recently. Really talking. Baring the soul kind of stuff. We had a situation with my daughter that we faced together. I really was prepared to throw up my hands in disgust. I think Jess was too. Had each of us faced the situation alone, I think that's what would have happened. But, we faced it together. That made the difference.
Anyway, that's my point. I've really learned the value of facing things with a real partner. For all you young ones out there, heed this lesson. Listen to all the old farts around you. It's easier to face life with a partner than it is alone.
One thing that's carried me through this time is Jess, my wife. I won't bore you with all the juicy details of how we met. What I do want to tell you about is how much her support has meant to me. It's also taught me a lot. Though there is a large gap in our ages, she's managed to take me places I've never been. In short, I've learned more about relationships and individuality in the past year than I have in the past forty.
We joke about it with each other, Jess and I. Joke about how we are partners; about how we mesh so well. How we've managed to go through some interesting things. Each thing has only served to make the relationship stronger. We have several core values which match, and in other areas we are as different as can be. The core values help keep us on track. The differences complement.
The greatest thing I've learned from her (am still learning) is how to communicate. I've spent my life hiding my feelings. Playing with the cards close to my chest. No one, even past loves, were ever allowed into the inner me. They never saw what it was I thought or felt. That's just the way it was.
Another thing I've learned is the importance of individuality. One cannot bring themselves to a relationship, until they're okay with themselves. If you haven't learned who you are, what makes you tick, you really can't be part of a couple. That lesson came from Jess, but it also came before her. I started my divorce, because I had finally reached the point where I needed to be me. If that makes any sense.
But, the thing I really wanted to touch on this time is the importance of team work. See, Jess and I have hit several things were it's taken both of us to get through it. I'm not talking major disasters per se. But, still, situations which would have crushed lesser couples. Now, not all these things were easy to handle. The were handled well though. This is because we've managed to rely on each other.
So, I'm writing this for a couple reasons. One is to underscore the importance of choosing a good life partner. No one is perfect. Everyone has faults. I know I have a boat load of them. But, with the right person on your side, things are much easier to face. My last marriage was the antithesis of this: my partner was never on my side. That places me in a decent position to know what the difference between the two are.
This is at the front of my mind, because Jess and I still face things. We've been talking a lot recently. Really talking. Baring the soul kind of stuff. We had a situation with my daughter that we faced together. I really was prepared to throw up my hands in disgust. I think Jess was too. Had each of us faced the situation alone, I think that's what would have happened. But, we faced it together. That made the difference.
Anyway, that's my point. I've really learned the value of facing things with a real partner. For all you young ones out there, heed this lesson. Listen to all the old farts around you. It's easier to face life with a partner than it is alone.
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