Brokeback Mountain
So, Jess finally made me watch Brokeback Mountain. Not a bad movie, as movies go, I guess. But, not quite up my ally, either. As well as we mesh, she and I tend to have very different tastes in movies. She likes movies that make one think. I like movies that let me turn on, tune in, and drop out.
Anyway, it's not a bad movie. Certainly not an action flick by any stretch of the imagination. And no, for all you 'phobes out there (who haven't seen it), it's not gay porn. It's worth watching, but it's not at the top of my list. If you haven't seen the movie, much of the rest of this post may not make much sense.
And no, don't think that I'm writing this as a movie review. She asked me what I thought of the movie. As I said. It was decent. But, I had a problem with it. And no, it wasn't the homosexuality.
Here's what bothered me about the movie. For the entire movie, which spanned a greater part of the lives of the men, the two men in question spent the entire time lying to their partners. See, both men took (female) spouses. They raised families. Led what heterosexuals would call normal lives. But they never shared their core being with their partners.
Arguably, the setting of the movie wasn't conducive to such a revelation. The movie was set in a time were homosexuals were not well accepted in society. There were a few scenes in the movie where that was well illustrated: the punishment for homosexuality was death, loss of jobs, etc.
Still, I'm not sure that excuses the lie. Because, that one lie led to more lies. The men would often take 'fishing trips' together. Of course, there was no fishing. The trips were nothing more than excuses for the men to have a weekend of sex with one another. It was also a time for them to keep alive a relationship which they had formed in the beginning of the movie. The entire time, both men never revealed to their spouses what was really happening.
The question is, were they cheating on their wives?
The men weren't seeing other women. But, neither were they remaining true to their spouses nor themselves. One of the men was actively trying to take their relationship to a new level. They were constantly lying to their spouses. If you remove the gender of the characters (men and spouses) from the equation, it's infidelity pure and simple. A is married to B. C is married to D. A and C get together and fuck. B and D don't know, and probably wouldn't approve anyway. Thus, A and C are cheating on their spouses.
And that's the crux. It opens the possibilities for so much to go wrong. The subtle dishonesty that covers up the liaisons can lead to doubts and suspicions which may or may not be well founded. It can eat at the core of an otherwise healthy relationship.
The other thought is, were either of the men really in love with their spouses. If they felt the need to find physical and emotional gratification in the arms of another, were they really in love? Were they ever really committed to their spouses? Exactly how much of the situation was a lie? When you think about it, the lines become real fuzzy, real quick.
In the end, I still can't decide if the men were committing acts of infidelity. They were good husbands. They cared for their wives and children. But, I just can't escape the feeling that, somehow, they were putting lust before love.
Anyway, it's not a bad movie. Certainly not an action flick by any stretch of the imagination. And no, for all you 'phobes out there (who haven't seen it), it's not gay porn. It's worth watching, but it's not at the top of my list. If you haven't seen the movie, much of the rest of this post may not make much sense.
And no, don't think that I'm writing this as a movie review. She asked me what I thought of the movie. As I said. It was decent. But, I had a problem with it. And no, it wasn't the homosexuality.
Here's what bothered me about the movie. For the entire movie, which spanned a greater part of the lives of the men, the two men in question spent the entire time lying to their partners. See, both men took (female) spouses. They raised families. Led what heterosexuals would call normal lives. But they never shared their core being with their partners.
Arguably, the setting of the movie wasn't conducive to such a revelation. The movie was set in a time were homosexuals were not well accepted in society. There were a few scenes in the movie where that was well illustrated: the punishment for homosexuality was death, loss of jobs, etc.
Still, I'm not sure that excuses the lie. Because, that one lie led to more lies. The men would often take 'fishing trips' together. Of course, there was no fishing. The trips were nothing more than excuses for the men to have a weekend of sex with one another. It was also a time for them to keep alive a relationship which they had formed in the beginning of the movie. The entire time, both men never revealed to their spouses what was really happening.
The question is, were they cheating on their wives?
The men weren't seeing other women. But, neither were they remaining true to their spouses nor themselves. One of the men was actively trying to take their relationship to a new level. They were constantly lying to their spouses. If you remove the gender of the characters (men and spouses) from the equation, it's infidelity pure and simple. A is married to B. C is married to D. A and C get together and fuck. B and D don't know, and probably wouldn't approve anyway. Thus, A and C are cheating on their spouses.
Now, sure, if it's just sex. Perhaps all well and good. But in this particular circumstance, it wasn't. The two men were friends. They were physically attracted to one another. The would cuddle in bed, and share pillow talk. They liked spending time with one another. Really, there was no distinction between their relationship and any other, save for the fact that they were both men.
And that's the crux. It opens the possibilities for so much to go wrong. The subtle dishonesty that covers up the liaisons can lead to doubts and suspicions which may or may not be well founded. It can eat at the core of an otherwise healthy relationship.
The other thought is, were either of the men really in love with their spouses. If they felt the need to find physical and emotional gratification in the arms of another, were they really in love? Were they ever really committed to their spouses? Exactly how much of the situation was a lie? When you think about it, the lines become real fuzzy, real quick.
In the end, I still can't decide if the men were committing acts of infidelity. They were good husbands. They cared for their wives and children. But, I just can't escape the feeling that, somehow, they were putting lust before love.
